vagina is talking i cant
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I AM VODKA MAN
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
