I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
