that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
