I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
