Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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