Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
