And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
