I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
