This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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