I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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