i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
