She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
