After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
