what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
