you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
