he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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