who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize