Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
