id be glad to
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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