your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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