Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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