Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
