What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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