It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize