wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
