in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
