But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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