i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
