508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
