I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
