Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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