well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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