there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
