How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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