Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
