Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize