if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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