i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
