god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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