I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
