Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
