if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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