She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I can't put those talents on a resume
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
