I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
