every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
