just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
