she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
