He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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