the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
