She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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