I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
