everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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