The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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