I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
