..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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