I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
