Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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