walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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