i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
