JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
