Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
