No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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